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The inner conflict


TO BE OR NOT TO BE- is phrased by Shakespeare in one of his plays-Hamlet. The everyday line for day to day life series is TO DO OR NOT TO DO.  The duality of the mind, the flip-flops of thoughts, the space between the doing and the undoing seems to have captured the souls of every individual.
We are usually caught up in-between actions, words, gestures either with oneself or another. Human beings are social animals but are still animals in our own ways.  We love to please all and want to be in good books of all expect one IMPORTANT PERSON- Own self.

This is the first step of conflict. A conflict with oneself. The conflict of the outward self with the inward self.  It is a pull and push mechanism. The inner self wants to push the outward self in loving oneself and the outward self is pulling away from listening to it.
We resent ourselves from listening to our inner self. We fail to act its way. The reason could be, because we know it does not manipulate or lie. It shows your naked self to you right on the face. Just like the mirror. You are as you appear without any makeup. That is scary and at times ugly to bear.

It amazes me to think, how in a tiff of a moment we take a drastic step and at times we take more than the required time to make a decision. We are so caught up with this inner mild turmoil day in and day out that we miss on all the small pleasures of life. We don’t express freely or love at our free will. We don’t do anything that truly belongs to us and will make us happy or give us the peace that we look for.
We are not released from our misery. We get into a conflict, may be at times listen to ourselves, most of the times make a pact with oneself and move on.  One done...another conflict starts and the cycle repeats.  There is no end to it.

At times we name this conflict an intuition and ignore and at times we think of the consequence and stop listening to our inner self and the conflict builds up. We are very good in making excuses and blaming the outer environment and situations in our lives and get into this situation. This in turn builds up our stress and we are already taking the downward path.
We live most of our lives n this built up conflict fighting it and looking for a path breaker. Something that we can tear off and come out of it. Just like a character tearing up the poster and emerging out of it.

Why don’t we get out of it? Why don’t we put a stop to it? Live devoid of it? Do we enjoy its complexity? Or is it too carefree and simple to live without it? Or do we fear of ourselves and life less interesting without it? Or is it that we have lost the serenity of happiness. We have lost the trait of peacefulness and calmness and know it is an effort by itself to get these traits back.

Does conflict seem a better bargain than these? It is a less path travelled and an easier one? We convince ourselves and believe and over a period of time accept this conflicted live and get used to living this way.

THINK OUT LOUD.....TALK TO YOURSELF..GET THE ANSWER

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All Rights reserved Lavanya M Rao




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